The Five Stages Of Grief
by justfanfictiion
Summary: This takes place during the two week period Brennan believed Booth was dead. There's a ton of angst, but no major character death. I promise, it's better than it sounds.
1. Chapter 1

(( AN ;; This may be completely au. This is just what I'd picture Brennan going through those two weeks she thought Seeley was dead. There's no major character death, but it's pretty much all angst. I mean, what else do I write about? ))

It's rumored to be that there are five stages of grief.

Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

Here are the times Temperance Brennan went through four of the stages of grief after losing her partner. Her best friend. The man she loved. If only she'd had time to reach the fifth.

Denial ;;

" He's dead, Temperance. "

Those three words kept echoing through Brennan's head, teasing her, taunting her— hurting her. Because she knew it wasn't true. She wasn't crazy. Seeley was going to walk through her apartment door with a bag of takeout in one hand and beers in the other. She just didn't know when. So, until then she needed to find a way to feel close to him. Because she knew if she didn't, she really would go crazy. Sweets would get a kick out of that.

Something was blurring her vision, and Temperance wasn't sure whether it was the rain beating down upon the windshield or the damn tears that wouldn't just stop flowing down her cheeks. Maybe it was both.

She knew where she was going. She'd taken this route too many times. More than she could count. Temperance knew the drive to Seeley's apartment like the back of her hand. She really wished she didn't. The drive there felt almost eternal... But she knew where she had to go. What she had to do to feel close to him until he came back.

Her hand fumbled under the mat for the small silver key. When her skin came in contact with the cool metal she couldn't help but remember the last time she'd done this. She'd snuck into his house and found him in a bubble bath with a beer hat and a comic book— typical Booth. Temperance picked up the key, shaking that memory out of her head, so she could do what she came here to do. The key slid in, and made a reassuring ' click ' as she turned it. Taking a deep breath, Temperance pushed open the apartment door, and with it memories came flooding back.

The picture frame on Seeley's nightstand brought pain to Brennan's chest. It was the two of them at Booth's favorite restaurant; Temperance had the same one hanging on her wall. Running her fingertips over the cold glass, she let out a sigh. She opened Seeley's drawer, and it hit her— the scent. It was his cologne. It also was like a blow to the gut for Temperance. But she knew she had to hold on. He wasn't dead. He couldn't be. Seeley would come back to her. He would never leave her; he had promised. And Seeley Booth never broke a promise.

Her hands gripped the soft fabric of Booth's favorite t shirt. She slipped off her own, and pulled the t shirt over her slim frame. The shirt brought a sense of comfort to Brennan. It was almost as if Seeley was there with her. But she knew that was ridiculous. He wasn't, but he will be. He'll come home. With a sigh, Temperance walked over to the side of the bed where Booth used to sleep, and pulled back the comforter just enough so she could crawl under it. Pulling the blanket around her, if she closed her eyes she could damn near pretend Booths arms were pulling her close. Just not close enough.

Anger ;;

Brennan stood, staring at a pile of remains in front of her. Ever since Booth took a bullet for her, that's all she could see them as. Just bones. She used to think she held an entire persons story whenever a new body was brought to her attention. Like she held both heartbreak, and happiness, love and loss in the palm of her hands— she'd never admit that though. She was supposed to be the logical one. She was the scientist; everything she knew was based on facts. But part of her still believes... Or wanted to, that is. Now that he's gone? Things just seem so dull. Bones are bones, and facts are facts. Her hope was running low. She didn't want to admit that this happened, she didn't want to admit he was gone, even though he was. And this made her a hurricane of emotions. But anger, anger was always there. The rational part of her knew Seeley was gone. But her heart couldn't, and didn't believe it.

She'd lost her train of thought, and was currently staring off into space when a familiar voice broke her out of her daze. " Doctor Brennan? " questioned none other than Camille Saroyan. If only it had been the one voice Temperance wanted so desperately to hear. Then, again she had zoned out; the faint sound of whispering sounded almost a million miles away. When Angela stopped right in front of her, she focused once again. " He'd want you to be happy, sweetie. " Brennan's best friend reasoned, attempting to make Temperance happy again. Well, as close to happy as she could be. Brennan shook her head, looking at Angela. " I can't believe you don't even have the decency to say his name. " Temperance spat. Her friends had been walking on thin ice around the forensic anthropologist, careful not to mention the FBI agent, knowing it would hit a nerve. But that just made her angry. Oh, the anger— it was something she had been able to control for so long. But now? It felt as if she was going to explode.

Taken aback, Angela shook her head. " Brennan, I was just trying to.. " Temperance bitterly cut her off. That anger, there was no holding it back now. " You.. You all have been treating me like im about to break! You can't even say his name around me, you have the audacity to pretend like things never happened! Well something did happen! Seeley's dead, became of me. I loved him, and he's dead because of me! " Temperance slammed her first down on the medical table in front of her, rattling the bones slightly. By now, a crowd had gathered, including her friends. Shaking her head, Brennan sighed. " I can't do this. " She said, loud enough for everyone to hear. With that, she took off her lab jacket, and threw it down to the ground.

" I'm done. "

Bargaining ;;

Brennan sat in her car, resting her head on the steering wheel. When her phone rang, Brennan's stomach jumped. There still was the smallest bit of hope that she'd answer her phone, and it'd be his voice coming from the other end. Yet she didn't have the emotional strength to answer that call— because a part of her knew it wouldn't be him. Temperance wasn't sure how well she'd be able to handle it not being him. Truthfully, she isn't sure how well she's handling everything right now.

The phone kept ringing, and ringing, and ringing. Finally, Temperance grabbed the phone and threw it against the inside of her windshield. Leaning back in the drivers seat, her ragged breaths made it hard for her to breath as tears fell down her cheeks.

" I miss you. " She choked out, gripping the steering wheel for support, afraid if she let go she'd fall apart. " Damnit Seeley! " She yelled, hitting the steering wheel. Temperance shut her eyes, and took in a deep breath.

" Please... I'll do anything. I'm sorry. Just.. Come back. " She whispered, unsure of who she was talking to. Whether it be God, or Seeley, or herself, she just knew she needed him back. The two complemented each other. Without Booth, Brennan wasn't herself.

Silence engulfed Temperance. The only sounds heard in the car were her ragged breaths echoing through her ears. Brennan ran a hand through her hair, biting the inside of her cheek. She didn't stop till the metallic taste of blood was noticeable in her mouth. Brennan let out an exasperated sigh, and opened her eyes. She looked around, attempting to even out her breaths. " It should've been me. It was supposed to be me. " Temperance whispered, her voice barely audible. " I'd do anything... For you to come back. " And that, was the truth. She would do anything.

Depression ;;

She hadn't left her bed in days. She hadn't gone to work. Food hadn't touched her lips in just as long; her stomach turned to knots just at the thought of consuming something. Not even when Hodgins came pounding upon her door and Sweets called ten times a day would she get up. She'd received calls from everyone on her team, but she wouldn't pick up the phone. She couldn't.

Temperance wasn't sure herself how long she'd been in bed. She didn't have the motivation to check. With her knees pulled up to her chest, and her eyes squeezed shut, she was taken aback when she heard the sound of a key open her front door; the same sound she'd heard the first night after finding out Seeley was dead, and she had gone to his apartment... Don't, Brennan. Don't think about him. She had to remind herself not to think too much about Seeley. She wasn't sure what would happen if she did.

At that moment, Angela walked into Brennan's bedroom. Which made sense, she was the only one who had a spare key to the apartment besides Booth. She, of course, was shocked at what she saw. " Brennan? Oh, sweetie... " Angela rushed over to her side, and sat on the edge of the bed. Temperance looked up at Angela, with blood red eyes and tear streaked cheeks. Angela climbed into the bed beside Brennan, holding her best friend close; tight enough so that she wouldn't break.

That night seemed infinite. Brennan spent it staring at the wall just... Thinking. Thinking about Booth, about her job, about her friends who felt more like family. Russ. Her dad. But at the end of the night, things always fell back to Seeley. She couldn't help herself. He saved her life. Temperance wouldn't be alive right now if it weren't for him. God, he was so stupid... She should've been shot. It should've been her. Booth would be able to handle her death better than she's handling his. Brennan told everyone she could compartmentalize better than most, and they believed her. So of course, they all assumed she'd be able to handle Seeley's death. They were wrong.

Acceptance ( almost ) ;;

It's been exactly two weeks since Seeley saved Brennan's life, and lost his. Angela had talked Temperance into going to Seeley's funeral. Brennan wasn't sure she'd be able to bear it, but she knew she didn't have a choice. Angela said she needed her, and Brennan was always there for her friends when they needed her.

The ride to the funeral was completely silent, Which was ironic since she rode with Hodgins and Angela. The two could talk up a storm. I guess today everyone wasn't acting like themselves. Brennan sat, staring out the window. The only thing that brought her back into reality from her own mind was Angela calling her name.

" Brennan, we're here. "

Caroline stood up to speak. The service was exactly what Temperance knew it would be. A bunch of people wearing black crying over something they couldn't change. Except for her friends. None of them seemed as upset as they should be. Temperance was listening, and Caroline's speech was starting to upset her. She was talking about how Booth risked his life to save his partners. How heroic it was. Brennan couldn't help but think it was the dumbest thing he's ever done. She couldn't help but wish it was her. She'd take his place in an instant. Temperance would rather be shot than live in a world without Seeley Booth.

Before Temperance could even process what was going on, a man was running through the crowd of people at the funeral, and knocked over the black wooden casket. Everyone was shocked to see that a dummy was in place of where Seeley's body should be. And coincidently, the only people who weren't surprised happened to be the ones on her team.

At that moment, someone else ran through the crowd, and caught the man who had knocked over the casket. Brennan couldn't breath when she saw his face. It was Seeley Booth.

Temperance made a quick decision as her fist collided with Booth's jaw.

At least it was a decision she wouldn't regret.

It's rumored to be that there are five stages of grief.

Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

If only Temperance Brennan had time to reach the fifth.


	2. Authors Note !

Author's note ;;

—

—

—

I got a really nice message from someone regarding this story, and it made me realize mistakes I made. Over the next couple of days I'll be editing this and I'll fix the mistakes. I'll also be looking for an editor! So if anyone's interested in that, pm me and I'll be glad to discuss it!


End file.
